Monday, May 12, 2008

Sadness & fear...

It is becoming all to real how fragile life is, especially when complicated with a CHD. There have been so many deaths this week. From infants to adults who are CHD patients. Unfortunately its a grim reminder of sin in the world.

First it started with a beautiful little girl by the name of Bailey Jill Reynolds. She was just 15 months old & had had her repair for TOF. She was doing well. In short, she was at a doctor's appointment & doing okay, but within a day, she became a lovely angel. According to her parents, they aren't sure of the cause of her death, but signs are pointing to an infection.

Just this past Thursday, a fellow by the name of Jason Cleveland also passed. He was a 36 year old, also with TOF, & also had been doing well. He was a member of a support group on Yahoo! that I also belonged to. He was vibrant & full of life from what his friends have said. He was involved in raising awareness about CHD's, and was planning to be a counselor at a camp this summer. They believe that he had a fatal arrythmia that caused his death.

Just a few minutes ago, I read on one of our heart friend's pages that another little guy lost his battle with CHD. 8 month old Caleb Gholston went home this afternoon to be with his almighty Father. He had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which is an underdeveloped heart (basically), and had spent his entire life in the hospital. From reading his page, his parents are very strong in their faith in God, and continue to be despite their great loss this afternoon.

With Nevaeh going in for her 3rd open heart this week, to see all of these tragedies really makes the "what ifs" come to the forefront in my thoughts. I can only trust in God to know that His plan is ultimately what we have to live by, despite not knowing the outcome. I have seen Vaeh on the brink of death twice in her short life, & both times I have given her back to God. I have felt that she is only on loan to me from our Heavenly Father, so who am I to keep her from returning to His loving arms if He is calling her home! I ask that you please keep all of these families in your thoughts and prayers as they are faced with these terrible losses. I know that I will be praying for them, which will help keep my mind off of Vaeh's pending surgery! I took great comfort in a line from a post on the TOF message board by Bailey's mom, Angie. I think it sums everything up perfectly - Thanks, Angie! "The will of God will never take me where the Grace of God will not protect me!" Thank you, Father!


Kathy said...

OK...for your sanity...stay off the internet until she's out of surgery. You're going to stress yourself out...and it's out of your hands.
Your princess will be AWESOME....will come home wilder than EVER....
Seriously...don't look at the things that could get you down...focus on the positive this week!!!
And...we'll keep you in our prayers!

The Portas said...

That is so comforting.

All of these things are tragic, but you have to keep in mind that they are NOT the norm. Odds are hugely in your favor, especially with as strong as Vaeh is. Of course, I do know that the fear creeps in. It's impossible to keep the fear and what-ifs out completely.

But Vaeh will be fine and we will continue to pray! Remember what I said. The 15th is a great day for a heart surgery!

Wendy said...

Hi Tina,

I, too, have been deeply troubled and saddened by the losses that you've mentioned. Jason was very supportive to me throughout Emma's 1st open heart, and I was shocked to read of his passing. Then Bailey's story on the TOF group, and Caleb, too, it's all too much for my brain and emotions to process. Ultimately, it does remind us of how fragile life truly is....and that God is the One in control.

I know learning of these stories must add to your stress of Vaeh's surgery this week....but I loved Kathy's post to you! Isn't she just a trip! :) Her words always hit the nail on the head! She's right, though....keep your thoughts positive and don't dwell on the "what ifs" as hard as I know it is. God has a special plan for your sweet Nevaeh, and He isn't finished yet!

Know that I'm thinking and praying for all of you! This will be a tough week, but I can't wait to hear how well your beautiful girl does on Thursday! Take care, and be strong...

Lots and Lots of Love, Prayers, & Heart Hugs,

Wendy (& Emma, too!)

Mina said...

Oh Tina,

This is a terrible time to be hearing about all these tragic events! Please, please don't be disheartened. Have faith, Nevaeh will get through all of this with flying colors. I will be thinking of her and your entire family in these upcoming days and praying for your precious baby's best possible outcome. Think about how well she is doing, think about how well so many other heart kids are doing. When you know such a large heart community you will hear the tragic stories along with the happy endings, it's inevitable. Just be strong for your little one and know that many of us are praying for her.